Wednesday, January 20, 2010

An Idol?

Ok so im sitting here watching American Idol and it never ceases to amaze me and the people who go to sing and cant even hit a note. Everyone who goes there believes that they are amazing at singing. And yet out of the thousands that try out only a few are good enough to go on to the next round. 
I think everyone has this thing that we think that we are just simply amazing at but we really just aren't. Mine would prob be waterskiing. I really like to do it but that doesn't mean that I am great at it. I really would like to believe I am but I'm definitely not.
Just a thought how interesting it is that we have a lot of misconceptions of ourselves in life and somehow we are supposed to know the most about ourselves.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

A New Start

Alright so I felt like starting a new blog just for something new. And I chose the title cause I feel like thats a good place to start and plus I really like the song. The song is by Skillet and some amazing lyrics that really shows the human the struggle. There are times when you just feel so alone and there you are wishing things hadn't changed or something had never happened and now you find yourself in a place where you are not sure where to go. Its a place where you can't really seem to find a way out, the BLACK.
That time for me was about a year and half ago. A place you never think you would be but once you are there your not quite sure what to do. I remember everyday wondering if I could ever actually find myself again or if I would walk around as this empty shell for forever and continue to walk around a lie. I had finally had it and just everyday just asked God for something anything because I needed a way out of this feeling. Funny how God chooses to use people and out of no where can put your feet back onto something again. That day I will never forget because after making my day worse there at a coffee shop was a good friend and out of no where, not pertaining to any part of the conversation, he said "Love destroys all sin!" At that moment I knew God was there and was watching over me and had been listening. 
Being in the black feels likes something that consumes you to a part where nothing can hear you no matter how hard you scream or yell. You feel alone in a  place where there are people all around you. You no now that you can't go back and your stuck with your mistake and yet you don't want anyone to know. Its a place where loneliness is followed by just more loneliness. Not until you realize that there is power in those around you that love you and won't think of you any differently can you begin to get out of the black. God listened and showed me his love through someone else. That love is something that can't be tamed or defeated by anything. And now I find myself somewhere new with a different mission in mind.