Crazy Love

Crazy Love by Francis Chan is one of the craziest books I've ever read. I just finished it and I don't think I even can say everything I've felt or thought about while reading that book. God made one thing clear to me that I don't give Him my all. Throughout the whole New Testament God constantly asks for our all and nothing less. 

As I have been reading the book I kept noticing place in my life that I just have completely left God out, I'm not living in faith at all. One in particular is what I do with the money I make. I've never been good at all at being a good stewart with my money but being a good stewart for God's money I have never even done such a thing. God has slowly been showing me that I live in MORE then enough luxury and that the people He created are starving and dying. I've been praying to God that He will help me become a better steward of the money I make and use it to glorify Him. I recently started to sponsor a child through Compassion. This is one of the first things I want to do in helping those that God created and loves and yet are shown little of that love from those who have it. 

One of the biggest things that Francis Chan writes about and I think God really convicted me of is that I am not always completely honest with myself and in turn I'm not being honest with God. I'm making a mockery of the One who created me and knows everything about me. The things I say I can't do because I'm not ready. Comparing myself to other people saying that I'm still dealing with my stuggles of porn and the pleasures of this life and that God couldn't use me at all. What a fool am I to say that God can't use me. I'm afraid that God will ask me to do something big and take me out of my comfort and reveal my true self. I don't want to honestly believe that I can trust in God and that His love is all I need to sustain myself. I let my friends and family take priority over where God's love should be. I'm more concerned of what people might think than knowing that God's plan for me is the best. God is slowly teaching me that it might be scary and there might be bumps in the road living an honest and open life is the only way God can use you. 

I've taken much from reading this book and know that it is rooted in Scripture is what made me love it even more. Nothing for me can ever take the place of Scripture but being able to read interpretations of Scripture or even just expounding on them is a very helpful way for me to learn more about them. Crazy Love was more then just a book about looking at yourself and your honesty with God. It is also about living out the Word. 

I know I talk about a lot of the things that I should be doing for God but I never live them out. The Gospels are full of what our lives are supposed to look like and how we are to live them. I know that while reading them I always think to myself "God are you really serious about that?" They always seem to be so over the top and impossible, especially in the world we live in now. The more I read the Bible and the more I pray to God I realize that they aren't and that we are supposed to follow all that God commands us. By ourselves it is impossible though but if we trust in God and allow His to work in our lives we have nothing to fear because God will provide and will make what seems impossible possible. My friend Ben is one of these people. When I first heard that he was going to Hawaii and dropping out of college to be an intern at YWAM I thought he was nuts. Who on earth would just drop out of college and have no plans for what they are going to be doing in their future. I thought that Ben was just some crazy radical that was living for God. The more and more that I have spent time with God and reading His word though I have realized that what Ben has been doing for God is what He asks of all of us. As I've talked with Ben I've seen how much he relies on God and trusts God with his whole life. Ben is a person who is completely in love with God and wants the whole world to know it. A life for God where you completely trust Him and love Him isn't the same for everyone. God created each one of us differently and gave us each unique abilities to serve Him. I ask God that He will show me how to trust and love Him with my life so that I can live a life that will glorify Him. 

In the last chapter of the book there is a quote by Annie Dillard, "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." Rarely do I realize that everyday effects my life, especially my eternal life. We make decisions every day that will effect us for the rest of our lives. My choices to sin against God not only effect my relationship with Him but effect my eternal life as well. God is our only judge in the end and our lives are set before Him. How we spent our days He will look at and judge. I no longer want to be kept as a slave to pornography and pleasures but to live for God and love Him in everything I do. I want my days to be filled with Him so that I can continue to love Him more and that will cause me to love others the way that He loves me.

PS If you want to know more about Ben and his journeys here is his blog.

http://benpeterson27.wordpress.com/